Escape From the Scooby Doo Mansion

You wanted the awesome, you got the awesome!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Awesome Album Covers: Family Band Edition (watch out, Partridge Family!)

Note to self: when forming kick-ass family band, must make sure mom has especially kick-ass beehive.

See, the Cooper Family has the good sense to play be the beehive rule, albeit not quite in the grand style of Mrs. McKeithen. By the way, if those snot-nosed Cooper brats are all God's children, then why is Mr. Cooper stuck paying for their braces? I mean, something tells me that royalties from the sale of this album ain't exactly gonna get those kids through college. Quit being such a deadbeat dad, God.

Hold on now, who's in the Family Band and who's in the Heitt Orchestra? And which one of you non-beehived skanks is Donna Boser? I bet the kid with the banjo knows.

As they were shooting their album cover, the Cameron Family was stunned by the sudden appearance of Satan himself, who promptly dragged them all down into the bowels of hell as punishment for failing to get Mrs. Cameron to beehive her hair. Let that be a lesson for all of us.

I don't know about you, but I'm gravely concerned for the safety of that dog.

It's a little known fact that The Smylie Family's awesome matching outfits and Junior's supertight 'fro briefly got them a slot as an opening act during Motorhead's 1979 tour of Japan. Sadly, it all came to an end when Mrs. Smylie went on a Jack Daniels and qualude-fueled rampage in a Kyoto hotel, resulting in arson charges and a ten-year sentence in a Japanese prison. Pa Smylie and Junior Smylie carried on the family band without her, finding much critical acclaim for their searingly introspective albums such as "My Belt is White, My 'Fro is Tight," and "Live at Kyosaka Women's Correctional Facility!" Commercial success, however, eluded them, and Junior Smylie was recently promoted to Assistant Manager at the Blue Springs, Missouri KFC.


At June 20, 2007 7:28 PM, Blogger Lex Ham Rand said...

Oh, that tight honky 'fro is a wonder to behold.

At June 21, 2007 12:56 PM, Blogger Missy said...

Too bad about the Cameron Family. The Smylie's truly are the stuff of legends. Didn't they ever read MacBeth?


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