Escape From the Scooby Doo Mansion

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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I am so not kidding about the Coming Zombie Menace

That's right, chickens, I gots me some scientific support for my greatest formerly irrational fear. Check out this discussion of the possibility of a "rage virus" (as depicted in the scariest movie of all time, 28 Days Later) actually happening. Time to start boarding up the Scooby Doo Mansion (after we get done handing out candy tonight), stocking up on canned hams and sharpening the 'ole machete (aka the "GhoulHacker 3000"):
In the movie, it was a virus that turned human beings into mindless killing machines. In real life, we have a series of brain disorders that do the same thing. They were never contagious, of course. Then, Mad Cow Disease came along. It attacks the cow's spinal cord and brain, turning it into a stumbling, mindless attack cow.

And, when humans eat the meat ...

How it can result in zombies:
When Mad Cow gets in humans, they call it Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. Check out the symptoms:

  • Changes in gait (walking)
  • Hallucinations
  • Lack of coordination (for example, stumbling and falling)
  • Muscle twitching
  • Myoclonic jerks or seizures
  • Rapidly developing delirium or dementia

Sure, the disease is rare (though maybe not as rare as we think) and the afflicted aren't known to chase after people in murderous mobs. Yet.

But, it proves widespread brain infections of the Rage variety are just a matter of waiting for the right disease to come along.

Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
If the whole sudden, mindless violence idea seems far-fetched, remember that you are just one brain chemical (serotonin) away from turning into a mindless killing machine (they've tested it by putting rats in Deathmatch-style cages and watching them turn on each other). All it would take is a disease that destroys the brain's ability to absorb that one chemical and suddenly it's a real-world 28 Days Later.

So, imagine such an evolved disease, which we'll call Super Mad Cow (or, Madder Cow) getting a foothold through the food supply. Say this disease spreads through blood-on-blood contact, or saliva-on-blood contact. Now you have a Rage-type virus that can be transmitted with a bite.



At October 31, 2007 9:28 PM, Blogger Lucas said...

Thank God I bought that stake fabricating machine! I was content with just my basement full of wooden stakes but after reading this, I think I may just fill up the gargage as well. You can't be too careful. Those zombies, while slow and single minded, can be very persistent!


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