Escape From the Scooby Doo Mansion

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

More proof that bears are godless monkey-killing machines

Agree or disagree with Stephen Colbert (I think he's truthtastic!), he's right on the money about one thing: The #1 Threat to America is Bears - aka " those furry, godless killing machines." I'm not going to post the photo from this story because I don't want to give all you hard-working, bear-fearing Americans nightmares, but check this out:

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands - Bears killed and ate a monkey in a Dutch zoo in front of horrified visitors, witnesses and the zoo said Monday. In the incident Sunday at the Beekse Bergen Safari Park, several Sloth bears chased the Barbary macaque into an electric fence, where it was stunned.

It recovered and fled onto a wooden structure, where one bear pursued and mauled it to death.

The park confirmed the killing in a statement, saying: "In an area where Sloth bears, great apes and Barbary macaques have coexisted peacefully for a long time, the harmony was temporarily disturbed during opening hours on Sunday."

Apparently those Sloth Bears ain't so damn slothful after all. Word to the wise, friends, today it's Barbary macaques, tomorrow it may be us. Don't say you weren't warned.


At May 17, 2006 9:37 AM, Blogger Lex Ham Rand said...

So it's probably a bad idea to dangle one's toddler over the railing in the bear "habitat" at the Como Zoo...

At May 18, 2006 12:31 PM, Blogger Jason said...

Whoa! How em-bear-assing for that monkey! Har har. That looks absolutely un-bear-able! Wait wait. Bear with me here. I'm glad someone had a camera...that was a real Kodiak moment! Ho ho! I can bear-ly contain myself!

Ok. I'm think I'm done.

Whew....let me just get my bear-ings here.

At May 18, 2006 5:36 PM, Blogger Voix said...

That was so bad I can't stop laughing.


At May 18, 2006 9:52 PM, Blogger The Pirate of Selby Avenue said...

Oh sure, laugh now, Michele. Yep, it's just all one big joke until one day you're checking your mailbox and an enraged Kodiak lops your head off. Who's laughing then, Michele, huh?
I'll tell ya: the bear - that's who. They are evil and they must be stopped.

At May 18, 2006 10:51 PM, Blogger Lucas said...

Actually, I like some flesh consuming bears. Like the bear that ate that freak who tried to live among them? Remember that guy? I watched the show and kept thinking, "That guy so deserves to be eaten." I am actually on the bears side on that one.

At May 21, 2006 1:35 PM, Blogger Voix said...

Pirate, this is why I don't live in Alaska.

Kodiaks are hot and all, but man. . . Why would you want to live near one?


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