Escape From the Scooby Doo Mansion

You wanted the awesome, you got the awesome!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Is this Iowa? No, it's heaven.

You know you're in heaven when you see office supply salesmen from 1983 walking straight out of the sunset... and he's totally glowing, dude.

In heaven, I finally have that recording contract. Oh yeah.

In heaven, dudes with pipes and leather elbow patches rule the mean streets, yo.

In heaven, I am the master of my domain. If you know what I'm saying.

In heaven, wolves, cougars, and eagles live in awesome majestic harmony.

In heaven, monkeys feed you pudding.

In heaven, Abraham Lincoln and Kurt Russel are pretty much the same dude. And they both escape from L.A.

In heaven, those damned kids stay offa my lawn like I tell 'em.

In heaven, this is a totally legitimate way to save a cat's life.

In heaven, you get to hang with Burt any time you want. And he's always wearing a tux.

In heaven, you are still every bit as awesome as you were in 1985.

In heaven, I can grow a sweet handlebar 'stache and I have a limitless supply of PBR tallboys. In heaven, the ladies love both.

In heaven, dudes have their priorities straight. And again, the ladies approve.

In heaven, even the snowmen get lucky once in a while. You go, Frosty.

In heaven, my band rocks your ass EVERY EFFING NIGHT!

In heaven, we don't need no stinking helmet laws.

In heaven, dogs don't need to be spayed or neutered.

In heaven, the whores at Knott's Berry Farm are so much more than animatronic.

In heaven, everyone can breakdance like Gonzo.

In heaven, every dude gets a rad sequined flag vest and every lady gets to caress the buff result.

In heaven, wookies and humans can express their freaky, freaky love freely and without judgment.


At June 16, 2009 2:39 PM, Blogger Lucas said...

Dude. Are you sure you are talking about heaven? Because that all sounds like my last Saturday night. Sure, there were a few tabs of acid involved, but I'm just sayin' that you don't have to die jus to live it up, yo!


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