What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas... unless it's in a courtroom in Vegas.

Ok, if you're ever facing charges in Nevada that may send you to the klink for life, and you look over at your lawyer and see the guy pictured above, don't say I didn't warn you. Here's the story:

LAS VEGAS - A judge ordered a blood-alcohol test for a defense lawyer who was slurring his words, then declared a mistrial after declaring him too tipsy to argue a kidnapping case.

"I don't think you can tell a straight story because you are intoxicated," the judge told Joseph Caramango as she declared a mistrial for his client.

Caramango, 41, acknowledged in court that he was drinking the previous night, but maintained he was not drunk. If convicted, his client faces life in prison.

"I don't believe I've committed any ethical violation," Caramango said Tuesday, disputing the accuracy of the breath-alcohol test. "If it proved anything, it proved I was not intoxicated."

Clark County District Judge Michelle Leavitt announced Caramango had a blood-alcohol level of 0.075 percent. Nevada's legal blood-alcohol limit for drivers is 0.08 percent.

I love the uber-weasly lawyer trick of implying that because he was .005% away from having a BAC that would have made him too drunk to drive, the test showed that he was not intoxicated. Also, Caramango apparently decided to bring a special lady-friend to court with him:

Caramango also identified a woman who accompanied him to court as his ex-girlfriend, Christine, but when questioned by the judge the woman identified herself as Josephine. She said they just met about 20 minutes earlier at a bar and coffee shop.