It had to happen sooner or later

Pirates versus Zombies
Just wait 'til the Ninjas show up!

Hey, I want an assistance monkey too!

I know, I know, it's been a long absence. I can't tell you much more than that piracy is my business and business is good, butI'll take a brief break from plundering the Spanish Main to bring you this:

After receiving complaints from diners, the health department in Springfield, Mo., notified restaurants last month that Debby Rose's "assistance monkey" could not be permitted to dine with her (in a highchair), even though Rose said she suffers from a disabling social phobia that she can accommodate only if "Richard" (a bonnet macaque monkey) is with her. Monkeys are generally permitted under the Americans With Disabilities Act if they perform certain tasks, as capuchin monkeys have been trained to fetch groceries from shelves for wheelchair-using patrons. However, animals that provide only emotional support fall into a gray area, according to a U.S. Justice Department spokesperson quoted by the Springfield News-Leader.

Yes, Virginia, the picture above is of a genuine bonnet macaque monkey. I think I'd rather have a Capuchin monkey with a bad attitude. Somebody like this li'l fella: