Escape From the Scooby Doo Mansion

You wanted the awesome, you got the awesome!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I get to do a fake bar exam on Friday and Saturday

I'm choosing to treat this as an opportunity to find out what areas I really need to focus on during the final month before the real exam. Because otherwise, this just seems like the perfect way to become frustrated and demoralized.
I'm going to spend the remainder of the week at the library, just trying to firehose black letter law into my tiny little skullbox and practicing writing essays where I can regurgitate said black letter law. Sounds like fun, no?

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

3 dorks, a video camera, and a mambo song

What could go wrong?

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Damn right I'm Animal! What other muppet could I be?

You Are Animal

A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts.
You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary.
But you sure can beat a good drum.
"Kill! Kill!"
The Muppet Personality Test

I think that one of my favorite Animal moments on the Muppet Show was when Animal was playing "Wild Thing" by The Troggs, but about halfway through the first verse he simply burst into flames. Running on very minimal sleep right now, I'm thinking the same thing might happen to me any minute now...

Kill! Kill!

thanks to Ugly Juice for showing the way.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Bar prep is kryptonite to my blogging superpowers

Yeah, I know it's tough to come here and have to look at that 666 every freakin' day for the past week. All I can say is (Superman weakened by kryptonite voice):
Can't blog... bar exam... too powerful... must... learn about equitable servitudes...

Sorry gang, getting my letter of marque is a big priority right now - I'm trying to keep the posts coming, but it's not easy.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Happy 666 day!

Happy June 6, '06! I've heard that some pregnant women with due dates today were actually having labor induced early so that their little ones wouldn't be born on 666 day. Personally, I wish today was my birthday - that'd be cool as hell. (cue demonic laughter). So think evil thoughts today, I'm off to go play some Judas Priest records backwards and then slaughter a one-eyed goat at midnight. Toodles!

Ahhh, torts. Sweet, sweet torts.

After languishing for a week in the fetid swamps of property law for my bar prep course, I'm finally being allowed to briefly breathe the sweet, fresh air of tort law. Yep, I'm talking 'bout every form of people doing each other wrong conceivable to the tedious little minds of the legal profession. Did you know it is slander per se to accuse someone else of having leprosy? Well, you do now! Death, disaster and destruction - these are worthy subjects for a budding young pirate to devote his attentions to. Yarrr!

Well, I'm off to hop on my bike and scour Summit Avenue for undefended Spanish galleons ripe for the plucking before I spend four hours in a frigid lecture hall. Wish me luck.

P.S. I heard that the guy who created the rule against perpetuities has leprosy, pass it along.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Big Surprise: "Family Values" Conservative is an Abusive Bigamist

Is there some unwritten rule that politicians who want to impose their version of "family values" on everybody else have to have a Boot Hill of their own in the closet? I am becoming more and more convinced that America's libidophobes and would-be Big Brothers of the Boudoir are all nursing very deep-seated psychological problems that they are projecting on to everybody else. Case in point - Jim Galley:
Republican Jim Galley, who is running for Congress as a “pro-traditional family” candidate, was married to two women at the same time, defaulted on his child support payments and has been accused of abuse by one of his ex-wives.

Galley married his second wife, Beth, in 1982 when, unbeknownst to her, he was still married to his first wife, Terry. Beth and Galley divorced in 1990 after she sought a restraining order alleging abuse.
The child support was owed to his first wife.

In February 1988, while Galley, Beth and her two teenage children were living in Lemon Grove, court records show that she obtained a temporary restraining order against Galley. She alleged in court records that she filed for the order after he repeatedly punched and kicked her, slapped her son twice and threatened to kill a neighbor.

“He used to only hit me and now he is hitting my children. I'm very scared of what my husband is capable of,” Beth wrote.

Hyprocisy and scummy behavior aside, doesn't Jim just look like that creepy uncle that everybody wants to keep the kids away from? From now on, I want intensive psychological screening of any candidate who wants to use the coercive power of the state to control my personal life. My guess is that nary a one of them is fit for office.